Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Totally Random

I'm watching The Princess Diaries 2 right now. I like this movie. Why am I sharing this? Because sometimes I don't make sense. (Sometimes? Haha, Phyllis, yes I can read your mind) So I get home a little before 6, sit down and eat, then check out what's on the tube. Love digital cable, because not only can I see what's on, but I can see what is going to be on. So I see that the movie is going to start at 7. I think, wow, that sounds like a fabulous time watching that movie. Then what goes through my mind? Dang, it's still an hour away and there's nothing on TV. What am I supposed to do? Yeah. A normal person would have said, gosh, I have this DVD, why don't I just watch it now, no commercials? Good thing I'm not normal. Even less normal, I keep pausing in my writing to watch the commercials. What is wrong with me?? (Don't answer that)

I'm a great big snot ball today. I hate colds. They last forever! And cold medicine never works, not even the good stuff. And you can't really take off work, so you're just a gross bundle of mucus in the office. Mmmm, tasty. My nose runneth over. What can I say?

I think they need to make better paint for roads. I swear I was driving down the middle of the road while it was raining today. I didn't notice until I hear all the honking and saw the rather creative hand gestures. People are quite imaginative. Awesome. I guess with better paint I wouldn't have true insight into the human condition of road rage. Because I never have road rage. Ever. I'm always. Completely. Calm.

Okay you wanna know what bothers me about drivers? Des Moines drivers have no sense of the speed limit. They drive super fast. Or super slow. And usually I get caught behind a super slow with a super fast creeping up on me from behind like a pair of tight underwear! It's like a traffic wedgie! Also, no turn signals. Hey look at me, I'm going to slow down for no apparent reason and then...surprise! I'm turning! Not my favorite surprise. Oh and people who need to be in one lane but pass all the cars and then turn their blinker on and expect someone to let them in. Because they're all so much more important. Hmph. Okay I better quit before I get all hot and bothered.

Man, I love this movie. I wish I found out I was a princess who was going to become queen but then some hot guy tried to steal my crown and I had to have an arranged marriage with another cute guy so I could be queen while I was falling in love with the other guy who is supposed to be my enemy. Isn't that every girl's dream? It's not? Weird...

So if I can't be a princess, I've decided to be a singer. I've got the voice, but my look isn't quite right, and I've never been a great dancer. So I'll wear a mask and be all mysterious and stuff.* And I've been studying moves on those music video thingers and I think if I perfect just a couple strategic moves I'll be good. So first I need to be standing in the rain. Things always look better in the rain, plus it will obscure me somewhat. Plus, it's helpful for the next part, which involves tossing my head just so and making sure that some of my hair sticks to my face. There's something about proving I can sing with hair in my eyes, seems to be a common thread. Finally, I will hold my head with both hands as if I'm in extreme pain. Throw in a back and forth head toss or two, and my look and dance are complete. I'm totally the complete package. Feel free to send agents my way.

I'm such a sap. I'm totally tearing up at this movie when she's getting crowned queen. Oops, did I ruin the ending? I mean...uhhh...I'm tearing up when the mean guy gets the throne and then the palace blows up. It's very sad.

Last week I won a pineapple for a coloring contest. It was pretty cool. I felt special. (Phyllis! Stop! No smart remarks!)

Today at work Phyllis told me she was grumpy, and I said I was sleepy. So we decided our team should be the seven dwarves! What's funny is how most of the names we picked are pretty fitting for us. When Kari leaves and there are seven on the team plus supervisor, we decided our supervisor will become Snow White and we will be her seven dwarves. Okay, so we're strange. But it was amusing. More people will understand this one than the time when Phyllis and I decided our cube was the Borg Cube from Star Trek and gave everyone "designations" (i.e. 3 of 6) and decided our supervisor was our "Borg Queen." I can't believe I just admitted to that.

I'm going to go rot my brain with some Real World. It's like a car wreck, horrible, but I can't seem to stop watching. I don't think I covered everything that has bounced around in my head over the past couple of weeks, but I keep getting distracted and writing this has taken me like over an hour. It's a problem. I'm done. Adios.

*See my post titled "Masquerade"

Sunday, August 16, 2009

State Fair Fun!

Dear Randi-
Thanks for helping my new nickname catch on, and for making me smile. I hope your baby finally went to sleep, because it's been like a week, and I'm pretty sure it's not healthy for babies to go without sleep for a week. Also, while I had a blast dressing up like Julia Roberts, the real JR randomly showed up at my door and took all the pictures. Just trust that I was a dead ringer.
Now that that's out of the way...time for a recap post! Woop woop! (Hi Emily!) So last week I was a total slacker. I was sick for two whole days and had all sorts of random things running through my brain, and I didn't post. Mostly because staring at the computer screen for too long made me a bit woozy. But trust me, they would have been hilarious posts if I'd made them. Let's take a moment and just imagine, shall we? ... ... ... Ahhh, that's the stuff.
Thursday night was the Drew Seeley concert at the state fair. It was a lot of fun. Thankfully, my obsession had waned by then, and I could just enjoy it. See, here's what you need to know about me. I have an obsessive personality...but also a short attention span. I find something or someone who I think is pretty cool, find out a lot about them (not in a creepy way) for a week or two, and then suddenly I see something shiny and it's over. Haha. So the concert was good, but I wasn't like all weird and nervous, though I was still happy to go. Of course, the average age at the show was 8-10, and surprisingly mostly girls. Go figure. Haha. DS had his best friend from high school, Brandon, come and play a couple acoustic songs with him, and that was really cool. Probably my favorite part of the show. Heather and I stood in line to meet him after and I got my picture taken with him. It was pretty cool.

Friday I got to spend the day at the fair with my family. I gotta say, there were a lot of things on a stick. I took a bunch of pictures of different things on sticks and posted them on Facebook. Anything from chicken to candy bars to origami! Pretty amazing what people can get on a stick. Other fun things at the fair: a grizzly old man with a herd of geese, a street musician, and, of course, the butter cow! Standing in line for the butter cow, there was this really annoying lady behind me. The first butter sculpture was an astronaut. Lady: "Oh yeah, it's been 50 years since we FAKED the moon landing. I saw this special on the History Channel..." Next came the butter cow. Lady: "That doesn't look so hard. I bet I could do it!" When she opened her mouth for the last sculpture (a TV with footage of the moon landing playing) I quickly walked away. I was pushing Siri's stroller and didn't want to "accidently" run into her. We spent 9.5 hours at the fair. Craziness, especially since we still didn't see everything we wanted to! The kids were really good though, and it was a lot of fun.
My family stuck around for most of the weekend. I got to spend some time with my nephew, Lyle. Lyle turned 4 on Thursday, and he is 100% boy. So different from playing with the girls. Lyle is a redheaded daredevil. He is hilarious. He spent part of the day on Saturday telling stories about finding a monster in a bathroom with his friend Swordfight. He kept stopping and asking if we really wanted to hear the story because it was pretty scary. When everyone else was taking naps, Lyle and I played Memory. Now, Lyle is one of the nicest little boys I've ever met, and working with preschoolers, I met a lot of little boys. One thing about Lyle, however, is that Lyle HATES to lose. He must win at everything. When we played, he got all my matches, and at the end of every game, he said, "I win, you lose." What a hoot. We had a nice talk about sportsmanship, and the last game he said, "I win, you lose...well, maybe you, we tied!" Haha. What a good compromise.
So many stories, and yet I am bored. I want to get up early-ish in the morning, so I will end with my "almost spit-take" of the weekend:
*We were at home after the long day at the fair. We all had glasses of milk.*
Mom: This milk tastes really good.
Emily: It really does. Now I almost wish I had used one of those milk vending machines at the fair.
Me: Emily, those are called cows.

Saturday, August 8, 2009


Okay so I'm laughing really hard right now. I love cheesy movies as much as anyone, probably more than is healthy for a 25 year old, and "A Cinderella Story" is on. I love the movie. I own the movie. I tuned in at the ball scene, and it suddenly just struck me as really really funny. She's at the ball, with a mask that goes just across her eyes...and he doesn't know who she is! Okay, believable at the ball, it's dark, hormones are high, brains aren't getting as much oxygen, whatever. But then when he sees her again he doesn't realize it? Her voice? Her eyes? Her...uhhh...well, the rest of her except for that strip around her eyes? Are guys really just that unobservant? Don't answer that... Not to mention her step sisters have NO IDEA that it's her. Of course not. Neither does anyone else. Same thing happens in "Another Cinderella Story," another movie I own and love, but again, what's with everyone being fooled by an eye mask? It's amazing. And they are interviewing all these girls, most of whom obviously don't fit the profile. Those masks! I'm going to wear one tomorrow and pretend to be Julia Roberts. Just for kicks. Nobody will know, because I'll be wearing an eye mask.

So here's what I'm thinking...forget witness protection. Give everyone masks! Spies? I think the US government has seriously overlooked this amazing disguise. Perhaps they should watch more teenybopper chick flicks.

It is HOT here. Like, serious heat. Hit almost 110 degree heat index today. Gross, right? Sometimes I think Iowa is not the place for me to live. I mean, I hate the heat of summer. I hate the cold of winter. I need to find a place where it's always spring or fall. 60s and 70s. Ahhh, that would be perfect. ... ... ... Whoops, sorry, went to my happy place for a second there.

It finally rained here yesterday. I know, front page news, right? But it hadn't rained forever, so it was good, but I had to get up instead of getting to stay in bed and enjoy the thunder, so it was bad. All in all not the best Friday ever. We got paid, which is good, but my mileage, which I was expecting, was not on the check, which was bad. Very bad. Because after paying my bills, I have maybe just enough to pay for gas for the next two weeks, but not enough for silly things like food. Good times, eh? Since I spend a couple/few hundred dollars per month on gas, it makes a huge difference.

Gosh, sorry, that was a random depressing tangent. I'm just a bit stressed, haha. And my eye is twitching. I asked the eye doctor why my eye wouldn't stop twitching. He told me I need to get more sleep and decrease the stress in my life. To which I said HA! He also said to take a vacation, because I'd be amazed at how quickly the twitch went away. He is such a comedian. Isn't he, Phyllis? (wink wink) Anyway, I'm trying out the nickname "Twitchy." Might as well live it up, eh?

I'd like to end with something clever, but I got nothing. I have to watch the end of this totally realistic and believable movie and pretend that I'm Cinderella;) (You know I love it!)

PS - Random info...I just published this, and it's about 10:55 pm. The time stamp said 8:03. It's always completely random. Go figure. Just thought I'd share!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009


You remember on old blogs, like LiveJournal (had one!) and Xanga (had one of those too!) you could put your mood and what you were listening to? Well, I would like everyone to know that my mood is "sleepy" and I'm listening to "Hero" by Skillet. Really I just wanted everyone to go and listen to Hero. I love Skillet. Of course, they are a little harder rock, so I can't say for sure that everyone would like them. They are the type of music that I blast when I'm in a bad mood, and it's like it sucks the poison of bad moodiness right out of me. Love it. Oh darn, the song is over...repeat!

So I have a confession to make. My last entry was a joke. I know, shocking right? In fact, I think I will do even less structure. Boo to structure! I don't even do my progress notes in the structure they're in. I skip around and up and down. Don't tell my boss! (Hi, Amanda!) I was reading through old surveys that I've done on Facebook today and, I'm clever. Or was it crazy? Who knows? *shrug*

I have an update on the birds. I was at my sister's most of the weekend, and I saw them practicing their formations on the prairie. You know how they all just "happen" to know when to swoop and where the lead bird is going? Yeah, right. Like I said, smarter than we think! I swear one was listening in on my conversation today. Doubt if you will...we'll see who is laughing...

(I'm listening to another song off the new Skillet album on's good)

So on a more serious note...oh who am I kidding? I can't be serious after talking about the birds! I mean, how much seriousness can you take in one blog? So instead...I was driving today (I drive a lot), and I was wondering what we would all look like if cars were invisible. Like, all you saw were people floating along the road. Just take a moment and picture it. I may or may not have been thinking this because I was driving in a really strange position. But you can't prove anything.

Okay so I just took a lil break from this. Here's what happened. My song finished, so I thought I would listen to something else. What better than something by Drew Seeley since he'll be here in a little over week? (Don't worry, I am not weirdo obsessed, I don't even think I'll marry him anymore;)) So anyway, that was still a bad idea, because I got sucked in to watching music videos, and there was one for "New Classic" which I like. I had to giggle though, because there was just one random butt shot. Really quick though. Like, wait, what, did I just see that? Good times. I have moved on and I'm listening to less focus-worthy music now. Haha.

I went and ordered my two bridesmaid's dresses this past weekend. It took 45 minutes, and five of them were spent actually trying on the dresses. The funny part is that I brought my sister and she convinced me that for the wedding where I get to pick whichever dress I want, I should get the exact same style as I'm getting for the other one. So I will have two of the same dress, just different colors. Stellar. Too bad they didn't pick the same colors! We went shopping afterwards, and I think shopping is funny. You may have realized by now that it really doesn't take much to amuse me. What I noticed was that the bigger the clothes get, the sparklier they get. Like, from shimmery fabrics to little beads, to sequins, to hideous giant rhinestones. Apparently big people like shiny things. Or they think that the sparkles will distract them. Here's a tip, clothes designers...that only works on me! And even I didn't fall for it. Sheesh.

I watched just a little bit of that "More to Love" show tonight, and I gotta say, I'm not as big a fan of it anymore. I get the first week showing people sad and stuff about not finding love and feeling like it's because they're fat. But basically the show is portraying all fat people as being sad all the time. Many of the interviews showed the girls crying, and a lot of them spent their one on one time with the guy crying too. Hey, I understand where they're coming from! Believe me! But seriously, if I were a guy and every girl I went on a date with started crying, I'd start to get a little annoyed. Besides, eh...well...never mind. It's reality tv, ie, muchly staged. Yes, muchly is a word tonight.

In the work world, we got new wireless cards for our computer and had to come up with a check out system. Phyllis* made up a sheet and we are naming the cards. That's right, not numbering them, naming them. I'm not sure where the idea came from....*innocent face* I got to name them :) I think I need a label maker. This is the perfect opportunity to use one, and I don't have one. Never mind that they had to take my label maker away at my last job...just because I labeled everything in sight and wanted to start labeling children...I don't have a problem! I could have quit without their help if I wanted to!

Awww, Billy Mays is on TV yelling about the Tool Band-it, an magnetized arm band that can hold a 25 POUND WEIGHT!!! You stick things to it so that you don't stumble around and lose your tools and bump your head looking for them or stick your tongue with spare nails. Home repair can be dangerous without magnets. RIP Billy!

* Hi Andrea!