Monday, September 27, 2010

A Social Experiment, Pt 3: What I learned

Sometime in the next few days, I will be writing emails to the few guys with whom I have been corresponding and then closing my profile on okcupid. It was an interesting experiment. As will all good experiments, I need to have some sort of conclusion. (Pay no attention to the fact that I didn't follow the other steps of good experimentation. I use what I need as it suits me.) So here's what I learned from this two week experiment:

1) There are a lot of freaks out there. Seriously. That sounds mean, but I really wonder what people are like in real life after talking to them online. I try not to judge, but...well...

2) America has a terrible literacy problem. It's a huge problem if I can't even tell what point you're trying to get across in your profile. I am such a spelling and grammar nazi, I automatically leave a profile where there are multiple spelling and punctuation errors. I'm not talking about the occasional missed letter or misspelling. I'm talking about reading a profile that sounds like it was written by a middle schooler. Ridiculous.

3) People lie. Or are super hypocritical. I tried the whole "putting myself out there" thing and messaged several guys who talked about their faith in their profile. It didn't go well. As in...they didn't respond. And not once did I use the "I think we should get married" line. ;) I guess I had hoped that guys who were strong in their faith might look beyond outward appearance. Wrong.

4) I have no desire to meet someone on a website. Not right now anyway. A couple of the guys I was messaging with wanted to meet me. And I didn't want to. At all. It made me anxious. Not sure why.

5) I have a lot of other stuff to work on before I can fully devote myself to looking for Mr. Right. I want to become more healthy, physically and spiritually. That way, when I find someone, I won't settle. I will know what I deserve, and I will be able to be fully "in" a relationship. Hard to explain. I also want to make more connections outside of work. I love my work buddies, but I'm really excited about the prospect of making friends through church, or by taking community ed classes. So many possibilities.

So yeah. Sorry this wasn't as amusing as the other entries about my experiment, but I actually learned a lot about myself during it. Did I give it a fair chance? Maybe not. Will I try again someday? Maybe. But for now I'm going to go out and experience real life and real people. I'm going to stop searching for Mr. Right and live my life as fully as possible. And that's a promise ;)


  1. Because I am feeling generous I will over look your many research methodology errors in this "experiment". What can I say you are a spelling and grammar nazi I am a research methodology nazi.

  2. I refuse to overlook your lack of scientific method. Just so you know.

    I mean... <3

    Anyway, I too find it hard to take anyone seriously who can't spell even simple words. I understand "big" words are challenging, but simple ones? No go. And really, even the bigger ones shouldn't be that difficult considering that handy-dandy little function on computers called SPELL CHECK. Heck, even internet browsers come with it automatically now.

    I do ignore spell check sometimes though and just leave my typos. I'm kind of two-faced that way. Would "faced" be the proper thing to be two of, in this case?

    Don't settle. Find the one who makes your heart sing, and then never let the melody go.