Format?

*Gasp!* A journal entry two days in a row??? I know, right? Complete insanity. But this is important. There is an issue that needs to be addressed now. And, being the author of this journal, I'm pretty much the only one able to do so.

I spent the past little while reading some other blogs online and I have come to the conclusion that I'm doing it all wrong. I am completely random. What I really need is some structure in my entries. Yes, I am decided. I will give it a try. Here goes...

This morning I woke up at 7:13 am. I did not want to get up, so I didn't. But then I did. I sat up and swung my right leg off the bed first, then my left as I sat up. I turned off my alarm (well I might have done that before sitting up) and reached for my contacts. Right eye first, then left. Then I got up and used the rest room. (If you need more details, please let me know) After that I showered. I washed my hair (shampoo and then conditioner) and used my sparkle body wash that I bought so I could be like a vampire. Then I got out and dried off. I stared at my clothes for a long time and then decided on black pants and a black shirt with some other stuff on it. Then I scrunched my hair with mousse since I didn't have time to dry and flat iron it. I put on my eyeliner in the bathroom and then went to do my makeup. Concealer, foundation, mascara. Then it was time for a breakfast of leftover pizza. Yum. I heated it for 2 minutes. I brushed my teeth, put my book in my bag and my phone in my purse, and walked out the door. I locked it behind me.

I had to drive to my sister's house first because my work phone was left there last night. I also got a letter at her house telling me to do some doctorate program. I don't think I will. Then it was 8:30 and I was winging (driving) my way toward Winterset. I listened to an interesting voicemail and made some phone calls. I heard 11 songs and 4 commercials on 99.5. I had my session, then headed back towards Des Moines, singing at the top of my lungs. Then I talked to Andr...errr...Phyllis. Back at the office we had some staffing time and I got a phone call. I talked for 12 minutes and 23 seconds. Then the team went to lunch at Legends. I rode with Heather in her new car. I had a cheeseburger and fries. And Sprite. Back to the office and had superivision. It went well. Then a little while to study my session plan and off to another session. The new girl came with me and we talked about the job and other things. Session went well. Back to Des Moines to drop Nicole off and then I went home. Traffic was heavy. Early night though, home just before 6. Nine hours. Not too bad.

I talked with Emily. And played on Twitter. And ate supper. And watched the Real World. And didn't clean. Now I'm watching The Nanny. I will go to bed soon. My mouth stitches hurt. It's hot in my apartment. My pinky toe itches. My eye is twitching. *Moan moan moan complain complain complain*

The end.

So what do you think? You see how I did that? All structurey and stuff? One thing after another. And I absolutely didn't forget to complain about everything that is wrong. I mean, everyone likes to read about it, right? This is why I should always do my homework. I'm feeling good about this change...I'm sure it's one that will keep people coming back to my journal day after day. :D

PS This was supposed to be much more clever, with lots more detail, but I got bored a paragraph in. Seriously, forget people not actually wanting to read about every detail of someone's day, but I can't imagine wanting to take the time to type it all out!! My life is not that exciting. Not even close.

Bittersweet

I gotta say...tonight is a little bittersweet. I mean...I'm all for happy endings, but it's the ending part that is hard. What will my life look like now? How will I adjust? I just can't believe it's over. Things are going to be so different. I'm a bit choked up...hold on a moment.

Okay. I think I'm okay to continue. As you might have guessed, another season of the Bachelorette has passed. What? You thought it was worse than that?? Obviously you don't know me very well. As far as guilty pleasures go, Bachelor and Bachelorette top my list. It's bad. Very bad. But oh so good. So very very good. Who knows if it will last. Maybe they'll be couple number 2 (of 17 seasons) to actually get married. I mean, what better way to start a relationship than by dating 30 men at once? Really, it's quite a fabulous idea. But really, I do hope the best for them. Ed was my favorite from the beginning, but I've heard rumors...oh well. Not my life. Ha.

Watched the new "Bachelor-esque" series tonight, "More to Love." Not bad. Rings instead of roses. Although I'm not sure I would trust a guy who gave me a promise ring if he gave one to 14 other women at the same time. At least there are no secrets, eh? There's a girl from Ankeny on it though! I'm rooting for her for now because she's representing for the coolest town in Iowa. Haha...

I'm pretty sure I'm losing my mind. Just this week (and mind, it's only Tuesday), I have told someone I work in Warren County (never have), lost my work phone (actually both my phones, but the work on is actually across town), and planned to ask my dentist about my eye twitch. We have a new girl who started on our team yesterday, and she probably thinks I've completely lost my mind already. I mean, everyone comes to that conclusion eventually, but this is only day 2. Good stuff.

In follow-up to my bird paragraph from my last post, someone at work asked me why it is that birds poop more on her new red car than they did on her old white car. Well. I take this as further evidence that birds are smarter than we think. Reasons why they poop on it? 1) It's new. 2) It's red. Yes yes. I also firmly believe that the birds with tummy aches take particular pleasure in defacing shiny new cars. Or just clean cars. They're out to get us. For real. (Okay, this paragraph does not do anything to discourage anyone from thinking I'm insane.)

Finally...a confession...I've joined Twitter! I avoided it for a long time. I mean, really, my life isn't that interesting. Sadly, I am very entertained by tweeting several times a day. Even if no one reads them but me. I think I'm up to 7 followers. I'm almost celebrity status. Haha. I'm such a nerd. So everyone should follow me, so I get emails saying that people are following me and I can feel all stalked and stuff. @auntierena Go. Now.

Whoops, there goes my arm

I'm pretty sure I might be falling apart. Or at least my eyes and ears might fall out. Don't freak out. I'm sure I won't look that weird. And I can wear a cool eye patch and have gold teeth. I will be a pirate! I mean, I always wanted to be a ninja, but a pirate is pretty cool too, right? Not a bad alternative.

Today I got to drive all the way to Perry, then turn around and come home. Love those days. They're the best. You ever have those days when you have to put a positive spin on everything or else you might run away join the circus? Yeah, that's today. We went out for Phyllis' birthday today though. (Andrea, it's hard to type your fake name.) That was fun. Man, I'm boring.

I have decided that birds are smarter than we think. Yes, birds. I have always wondered why they always manage to fly across the road right in front of my car. I think those are the daredevil birds. You know, the juvenile delinquent birds who like to risk their lives. Like, "Dude, I dare you to fly out in front of that semi!" "Naw, dude, those things are too hot, how about that little Bug?" "No way, ya wimp! Grow a pair and get out there!" "Fine fine, I'll go in front of whatever car comes next...here...I...GOOOOOOOOOOOO!" This is the part where the bird scares the crap out of me by flying out of the ditch and right into my path. I'm pretty sure after some of the near misses, those birds wait a while before car surfing again. Crazy birds...

I'm watching a show on TLC about a little girl with Progeria. It's that disease that makes kids age super fast. Very sad, because these kids are some of the cutest ever, and this little girl is mature beyond her years. She hasn't gotten to have much of a childhood because she has health issues and is constantly dealing with death and the possibility of death. She went to a friend's funeral and she was upset because their last conversation had been an argument over a DS. Kids shouldn't have to worry about that! So very sad.

In other very exciting news, Drew Seeley is playing at the Iowa State Fair for FREE!! I'm excited because I will finally get to meet him and we can start planning our wedding. I was thinking a spring wedding would be nice... Trust and believe you will hear more about this as the time gets closer.

Ode to accents, among other things

I think probably my favorite thing about watching Harry Potter is the accents. Don't get me wrong, I love the stories, but no movie will ever live up to the books. But I can't read an entire book in a fake accent, so watching the movies gives me my fill of accents. I often talk in an accent for several hours (minutes) following the movies. Love it. I'm pretty sure I should have been born with an accent. Or not. I doubt I would appreciate it as much. Oh! Maybe I would want an American accent then. Who knows. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, I want to marry a man with an accent. The end.



I was reading one of my favorite blogs today, and there was a huge debate about Harry Potter and whether it was "good literature" or if it was satanic or any of the crap. One person went so far as to say she would rather her children be illiterate than read Harry Potter. Let's just get this straight. Okay, class? Are you ready for this? Are you sure?? Harry Potter is a work of FICTION. I know, I know, shocking. It is creative and fun, and has caused a whole generation of kids to love reading. It is not meant to teach satanism, and is, at its core, a story of good versus evil, where good triumphs because of love. It is full of lessons of friendship and courage, and standing up for truth. Okay, okay, I know, a bit dramatic. But still. I love the humor, and the visual pictures that JK Rowling paints. It is never hard for me to imagine what is supposed to be going on. The movies, of course, do not live up to the books, but they are decent as well. Just had to get my little defense in there, haha.



Someone also said they would not read Harry Potter because it is popular, and popular books are never good. See, to me that just seems silly. Obviously they are popular for a reason! Now, not every popular book is my cup of tea, but that's okay. I just love books in general. When I was little I would go to the library and take out tons of books and just read constantly. I could get through five Sweet Valley books a day. Good times. I admit, sometimes I have thought the same way about popular books. I was not going to read Twilight. Actually, it was more the vampire part than the popular part, come to think of it. But I read them. And loved them. And read them again...and again...and again...and again. Love it.



Wow, I'm sorry about this blog. It isn't entertaining at all. Just random. Which is what I warned everyone about at the start... I'll just end with one more thing for you HP and Twilight fans...

EDIT: Okay, this post was totally lame. What I was trying to say was, don't be a punk and let what is popular rule your life, whether by doing everything that is popular or by avoiding it. Be a man (or woman) and decide for yourself!

Coolorado (Yes, you read it right)

To my four faithful readers - I apologize for my long silence. I was, of course, busy being on vacation in beautiful Coolorado, as I will now refer to it, because, well, it's just that cool. I won't bore you with a lot of details of the trip, but there were some enjoyable highlights I'll share because I feel like it, and, let's face it, this is my blog and I'll do what I want! So...

-Car ride with sister in law, a 3 yr old, and a 1 yr old. Surprisingly uneventful. It was actually enjoyable. Maybe I psyched myself up to travel with young kids and overprepared, but they're such good little ones... Of course, I was doing most of the driving and little of the entertaining, so perhaps my perspective was a bit skewed ;)

-Gelato that tastes like cake batter. 'Nuff said.

-Sexy Pizza. Yes, there is a pizza place called Sexy Pizza in Denver. And boy did we ever look sexy as we sat out front, cheese dangling from our mouths as we huddled under the minute pieces of shade. (And yes, my pizza was naked* according to Phyllis**)

-A free haircut. Anything that doesn't cost money is okay in my book. This was even better, because my cousin did a phenomenal job. And I don't break out words like that for nothing. Anyone in the Denver area who needs a good haircut, talk to me. I'll hook you up;). (Meaning, of course, that I'll tell you where she works, not that you can get a free haircut. Girl's gotta eat!)

-Good friends. Not to be sappy and sentimental (okay maybe a little), but I really have some of the best friends in the world, and it was so good to be able to see them for a couple days! Plus, who else would sing with me in the pool? And the car? And the mountains?? Oh the beautiful mountains.

-Floating lessons. Some people are sinkers, some are floaters. We're kinda like poo that way. (Sorry, that was in very poor taste, but we used to have a book with all sorts of scientific facts and there was one picture of a boy sitting on the toilet thinking, "Will it be a sinker or a floater?" beside a bit on poop. No, I'm not joking. So now every time I hear "sinker" or "floater" I can't help but think about that book. Wonder where it ended up...) Sorry, tangent. I tried to teach my friend how to float, but she just kept sinking. And it is no problem for me to float...I treaded water for a very long time. I think it has to do with built-in floatation devices...*blush*

-Getting locked in an entryway. Apparently some genius thought it would be a good idea to have a set of doors you could get into but not out of directly before a set of doors that were deadbolted. No signs. No warnings. It was hilarious. We pounded on the door and got jokingly scolded for trying, but hey, we were guests, we didn't know any better. I like to think we made an old man's job just a little more interesting that day.

-Family reunion. 40 people (10 kids age 4 and under)=complete and utter chaos. But fun. My family is crazy (whose family isn't, really?) and we only all get together about once a year. But that's better than a lot of families, I suppose. And there's a reason we only do it once a year...I need that long to recover! Haha. I could fill a lot of time with stories, but most of them would not be amusing at all unless you knew the people, so let's just skip that, shall we?

And finally, a short story about a girl with a dream...a dream to ride down a river full of sharp rocks and angry water on an inflated bit of rubber. Some call it white water rafting. I call it an extremely fun lapse in judgment. Actually, it wasn't anything like a lifelong dream...just a whim. So that's where our story begins...

It was a dark and stormy morning...okay that's a total lie, it was a gorgeous day, but early, and all early mornings seem dark and stormy. Nina got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. As she woke up more fully, the butterflies started. Perhaps to be more topical, we should say that the white water rapids started in her stomach. Nevertheless, she got ready and went down to meet the rest of the crazies...ahem...the members of her family who were going rafting. Unfortunately, no one else showed up at the appointed time. Nina frantically began calling everyone she could think of. Finally, Bobbin and her mom Flitty joined her, and a few minutes later, Nina's mountain-man brother Ken and cousin Kerry showed up. The party was complete. It was time to depart.

Of course, no one knew exactly where they were going, but, relying on vague signs and mapquest, the group made it to the rafting headquarters. They signed lengthy documents saying that if they died, no one was to blame, and then paid their money. Nina, unfortunately, wore flip-flops for the occasion, and was required to turn in her license for a pair of boots. Lucky for her, they were sexy and black, with just the right amount of holes. They looked especially good with the capris. Really. The group donned bright yellow helmets (better for spotting when someone is catapaulted off the raft) and got in line for life jackets. Now, the trick with the life jacket is to make it just tight enough so you can't get a full breath...too tight, the life jacket will slowly suffocate you, not tight enough, the life jacket will escape you should you end up in the water.

Finally, the groups boarded the bus. The safety talk guy, Barry, started out by asking whose first time it was. A good portion of the people on the bus raised their hands at this, to which Barry replied, "Yeah, I know the first time I rode a bus, I was pretty nervous too!" Hence began the most amusing "here's how not to die" talk that ever existed. Who knew death could be so entertaining? Barry spent a lot of time telling the group how not to die, what to do if they thought they're going to die, and how to prevent others from dying. Having sufficiently scared the majority of the people on the bus, Barry sat down to let them dwell on their life. Sufficient time for the whole life flashback thing. Nina watched out the window as other rafts floated down the river, wondering why they were all sitting on the edge of the rafts, therefore that much closer to death.

Finally, the bus reached its destination. Everyone waddled off the bus in their life jackets and helmets, and congregated. A photographer wandered around snapping pictures of the groups, perhaps for identification purposes. At last, Nina's group was called forward. Their raft guide was an outdoorsy girl with super long dreds. She gave them a bit more of a death talk and asked who wanted to go in front. Ken and Kerry were the strongest, so they volunteered. Aunt Flitty was excited to be the "queen" and not have to paddle. Nina and Bobbin sat in the middle. Armed with paddles, the raft pushed off and they were away!

The very first big rapid was the biggest of the entire trip, a level 4. Immediately the raft headed straight for a rock. "High side!" yelled the guide. Confused, each person went in their own direction. Thankfully, the rock showed mercy and everyone stayed on the boat. A paddle high five sealed their success at tackling a very difficult rapid.

Along the way, the rafters were invited to jump out of the boat and take a short swim. Not willing to risk an inability to get back into the boat, Nina stayed put. However, Bobbin, Ken, and Kerry all took a dip. Kerry almost did not make it back to the boat, and was taunted by Barry in the boat behind, who said, "You're gonna have to swim harder!" and showed no inclination to offer service.

As the rafting adventure drew to a close, Barry showed his penchant for spontenaity one more time. His raft drew ahead of Nina's, and as they passed under a bridge, Barry stood up, grabbed the bridge, and hung like a monkey. As Nina's raft passed under the bridge, Barry dropped, and achieved a soft landing...on top of Aunt Flitty! After a bit of bumper rafts to return Barry to his abandoned crew, Nina's raft reached its destination, and the end of the adventure had come at last.

The groups headed back to headquarters, where Nina gratefully retrieved her license, although she was reluctant to turn in her sexy boots. The group bought a CD of pictures showing them all looking very suave, like professional rafters (the looks of terror were totally staged). All purchased t-shirts as proof they had survived. Nina and Ken got ones that read, "I enjoy a good dump." Perhaps not very professional or mature, but stinkin hilarious. The end.

(Guess what. Nina was ME. Had you fooled, didn't I? Thanks to my fellow rafters, Ben, Kitty, Robin, and Cherie, and the entertaining guide, Gary.)
(Disclaimer: This story should in no way reflect my writing abilities. It is just for fun, has not been edited or checked for...well...anything! Take it as it is and enjoy!)

* Naked pizza = Cheese pizza. You might, like me, say that cheese is a topping, but to quote my buddy Phyllis**, "Saying a pizza isn't naked because it has cheese on it is like saying I'm not naked, I have skin on."
** Name has been changed to protect the identity of someone who might not want to be affiliated with me. (Is that name choice okay with you, Andrea?)