Wednesday, May 15, 2013

I am...

Dear parent,

I am a therapist.

I am not a fairy godmother. I cannot wave my magic wand and fix your child or your problems. I have no fairy dust to blow in your child's face that will change their behavior, though I have some glitter in my purse if you want to give it a shot.

I am a therapist.

I am not a genie. If you have wishes, I am glad to hear them, but I work in reality. I may cross my arms and blink, but only to make your child giggle. Real change takes hard work. And you need to be a part of that change. This is not a drive-through office. You sit, you stay, you talk. Good dog parent.

I am a therapist.

I am not God. I'm glad you give you some ideas to improve your circumstances, but I cannot change them. I cannot change who you are or who your child is. I cannot give you money or a job or motivation.

I am a therapist.

I am not the parent to your child. I cannot be the only adult in this relationship. Fighting with your child like a five year old will not improve things. Giving them whatever they want will not work either. Complaining to me won't change anything, but if it keeps you from saying nasty things to your child, by all means, go for it. It won't fix things, however. It takes hard work, from the entire family. Communication. Participation. Perseverance. Maturity. Patience. Love.

I am a therapist.

I am not perfect. I will make mistakes. I will not always have the answers. I am not an expert on your family. That's why we must work together. Sure, the world might be perfect if everyone would just do exactly as I say, but, as we've already discussed, I am not God, or magical in any way.

So please. Stop blaming me for your problems. I refuse to take credit for your failures, just as I refuse to take credit for your triumphs. That's all you. Your choices. Your responsibility. I gift it to you.

You're welcome.

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