I've made a decision recently. I need to do some things differently in my life, and one of those things is to figure out ways to save time. Somehow time always seems to get away from me. I'm not sure how. I know it has nothing to do with getting sucked into addictive websites or watching seasons of shows on Netflix. I'm totally in control of that time. But for some reason, my apartment isn't getting cleaned, I'm always up so late that I have a hard time getting up in the morning, and my novel and blog are being neglected. I think I'm going to start with small changes. The first thing to go? Showering. That's right. In the olden days, they didn't shower that often, and they all turned out fine! I'm cutting down to once a week. Plus, it's totally green, because it saves water. I'm also going to stop shaving. Because, really, who needs the hassle? I mean, seriously, what do I care if I have hairy legs? And I shouldn't care if it bothers other people. I gotta be free to be me and all that jazz. Plus, once the hair grows long enough, it will get soft and silky, and maybe I can braid it. I'll start a new style! Awesome. I can't wait. Maybe I'll post pictures.
I apologize, that was really dumb. In reality, I really hate this day. Every year I want to call in sick to work and hibernate for all of April 1st. You think I'm paranoid on a day to day basis? (You don't? Oh...well...of course I'm not...) I am the jumpiest and most skeptical person you will run into on April 1st. Everything anyone tells me, I'm like, "Are you for real? Stop trying to trick me!" Today my principal asked me to come into her office and I refused because I was sure it was a joke. I turned off my light and hid under my desk until the knocking stopped. (Okay, not really, but it might have happened that way.) I fully plan to check my car from bumper to bumper when I head over to Katie's house.
I also feel like people use April Fools as an excuse to be cruel. There are lots of pranks that are just plain mean. A kid today called another kid "fatface" and then said it was an April Fool's joke. (I never know if it's April Fool's or April Fools. Punctuation Nazis, help me out here!) Other kids were telling someone their mom was here over and over, so the kid would go check and get in trouble for popping into the office constantly. Again, not funny.
That's not to say that I can't enjoy a good prank. As long as it's funny, and not hurtful. I am a really funny person, in case you didn't notice. In college, my freshman year especially, my friend Nik and I had lots of fun playing "pranks," if you can call them all that. As a floor, we painted a mural of Van Gogh's "A Starry Night." Nik and I printed cow pictures, colored them bright colors, and taped them jumping over the hills. The PA kept taking them down, and it took her a while to figure out who kept replacing them. Nik also had a ceramic squirrel (I don't know why) that was surprisingly lifelike, and we took great pleasure in leaving it random places...especially the shower. Nothing better than hearing someone shriek that a squirrel got into the bathroom. We also enjoyed sending things through campus mail. Sometimes nice things, like tiny playdohs, other times we found wrappers and pages of old papers and loved to comment, "Oh, don't you just hate junk mail?" when the poor unsuspecting friend opened the envelope and it all spilled out. One of my favorites was when we used packing tape to tape entirely over someone's door. We sat in the lounge of the dorm until he came back, just shaking his head. The best part was that he actually really enjoyed it, and stuck things to the other side as decoration. The worst part was that I'm pretty sure it took the paint off the doorjamb. But Nik and I got out of there before it was time for the cleanup ;)
I'm not sure why I hate this "holiday" so much, since clearly I enjoy having fun at the expense of others. But I do. Maybe I'm just waiting for payback...that's definitely a reason to be paranoid...