Thursday, July 8, 2010

My new career in haiku

I need to make a quick clarfication. My last post was originally supposed to be funny. The many "loves" of my life, because I very easily slip into infatuation. I never went through that "boys are ucky and have cooties" phase. I have been boy crazy pretty much since birth. Hence my lifelong desire to be Cinderella. I love love stories, and I'm sure I will love love if I ever experience it. I did get a little deep, and I stand by the statements I made, but I didn't mean to sound uber depressed, so I apologize if that's how I came across! I do appreciate all the comments and messages on my blog and on Facebook. You guys are great. It's good to know so many people are there for me! At least if I end up a spinster, I know I'll be a spinster will A LOT of friends ;)

Now, I can't just write a post about that. Well, I could, but it would be boring and I might start to lose the few readers I have ;) So.

Today I was driving back to work with Phyllis (we went to let the guys in with my fixed TV!) and there was a truck that drove by with something on the back that *almost* rhymed. We both thought it rhymed (even though it didn't really) and I came up with a brilliant new career move. I am going to paint work trucks. With haiku. For example, the company who fixed my TV is Messerly TV. For them:

Messerly TV
We fix your TVs, yo
So give us your dough

(Actually, I didn't have to pay for my TV repair, and they were very helpful and wonderful to work with. Never once did they demand "dough")

My friend Nik's husband is a Schwan's man. maybe they need a new logo..
Here comes the Schwan's man
With a truck full of great food
Order some now, please

There is a commercial on for Hamburger Helper. I don't know if they have a truck, but they should. And this is what it should say:
Hamburger Helper
It sometimes tastes like cardboard
But it sure is cheap

I could do commericals too, or print ads. Maybe the CW wants to advertise for Star Trek. I would if I were them.
To boldly go where?
Where all the coolest kids are
Watch Star Trek at twelve

I could even do a slogan to advertise for referrals at work!
Helping your kids cope
Hooligans and angels too
Orchard Place is fab

Maybe I should do something about the depressing ASPCA commercials.
Don't hurt your pets, please
They just want to love on you
Not cry on TV

Okay I'm done. I could do this all night. Seriously. I'm officially obsessed with haiku. And, is the plural of haiku, haiku?


  1. I think you have now discovered the career that God intended for you. More please!! :)

  2. So, I think, despite my husband being the Schwan's man, my favorite was Hamburger Helper. I bet if you wrote them with your slogan, they'd totally get a truck, just for you. Or heck, I'll let you paint that on Jake's truck and I'll throw Hamburger Helper to people I deem "hungry looking" on the street.

    I mean... You are probably the best Haikuist I've ever come upon.

    And Jake sat here giggling with me as we read this, so I think that means you're doubly awesome.