You're never gonna believe it

YOU GUYS!

So I know it's been a while since my last blog. Apologies. But you'll NEVER believe what happened to me. See, right after I finished my last blog, I was attacked. By ninjas. See, they'd heard about my mad ninja skills, and they whisked me away to their super secret ninja cave hideout tower place thingy and forced me to teach them my ways. Of course, I could have escaped, but I felt so bad for them (they couldn't even go grocery shopping without being seen), so I chose to stay on and help out. I also helped them out with their taxes, which were a MESS. (Even ninjas have to pay taxes.) By the time I got home, my apartment was infested with nargles (shout-out to all the HP fans out there!!!) and my pet alligator had run away. I don't blame her. Nargles are not the best roommates. They never do the dishes or change the toilet paper roll. ANYWAY. By the time I found Eugene (the alligator), she had laid a nest of alligator eggs. They hatched soon after I arrived, and I had to travel around the country and find homes for all the baby gators. (The ninjas have a cuddly new pet!) You wouldn't believe how difficult it is to find homes for lil alligators, even when you dress them up in cute outfits. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want a little sailor alligator? Really?

So anyway, I finally got rid of the nargles, Eugene is back in her tub, and now I have a huge mess to clean up.

Seriously.

I told you you wouldn't believe it.

(In completely unrelated news, did I mention I'm on high doses of cold medicine?)